“I Am the Very Model of a Democratic President” a poem by The Bard of Murdock

It’s Sunday and today’s poem by The Bard of Murdock is of the all time favorites from his archives. It was originally published on March 26, 2011.

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I Am the Very Model of a Democratic President

With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan, authors of I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General
I am the very model of a Democratic president,
Who stumbled into office on a wave of massive discontent.
I’ve organized communities and burdened our state governments,
With help from union activists and other roguish elements.
I’ve found a way to give you unemployment at plus ten percent,
And rammed through legislation that the population does resent,
With stimulus and bailouts that our politicians should prevent,
Increasing sovereign debt to cover all the cash that I have spent.
*
I’ve made my mark with policies
          where spending transcends revenue,
And finding businesses that government can stick its mitts into.
In matters that ensure the currency is on a fast descent,
I am the very model of a Democratic president.
*
I’m very good at hiding in the White House from the fawning press,
Who might ask questions relative to budget or the HHS;
And lacking teleprompter it is darned hard for me to express,
Coherent ways to show our actions have resulted in success.
The Democratic Congress voters all came out to dispossess,
And left me with a GOP Tea Party out in battle dress.
Which puts me in an awkward situation that I must redress,
By threatening to shutter government to rescue PBS.
*
I’m at my best when making sure that Congress stifles all debate,

And passes measures in the night
         that guarantee a small growth rate.
In matters that ensure the very height of social discontent,
I am the very model of a Democratic president.
*
I’m having major problems working out my foreign policy:
My allies are unable to respect my clever repartee;
My country seems upset I bow to every potentate I see;
My enemies seem not content with my constant apology.
I dither and I hesitate for everything’s a quandary,
Until I get pushed in a corner by my dear friend Hillary,
Who teamed up with a rabid Bonaparte with surname Sarkozy,
And forced me to engage in war with Muammar al-Gaddafi.
*
By knowing absolutely nothing in relation to defense,
I gather coalitions of unwilling states when wars commence;
In matters that determine where our military men are sent,
I am the very model of a Democratic president.
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My goal is to produce poetical cartoons. I try to use metaphors and caricatures (or a politician’s own words) to address complex political and social situations. In this way, I sum up current events in humorous verse.

6 thoughts on ““I Am the Very Model of a Democratic President” a poem by The Bard of Murdock

  1. Reblogged this on danmillerinpanama and commented:
    The original Modern Major General would probably do a better job as the President, but we have what we have. Unfortunately. I wonder how well President Obama would sing patter songs, with or without his ubiquitous teleprompter.

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