My fellow Americans, lend me your ears.
I promise decisions to dampen your fears.
The Sandy Hook killings – I call it a spree –
Engendered swift action from Biden and me.
When Biden, Pelosi, and dear Harry Reid
Requested prompt action, I quickly agreed.
My efforts were frenzied and scripted to show
Executive action is ready to go.
I looked through the annals of illegal acts;
I combed through the files to gather the facts.
And based on the crimes of two hundred years past,
I have a solution of worth unsurpassed.
The dastardly killing of Lincoln took place
Inside of a Washington theatre space.
As such, I will offer, propose and propound,
All theatre buildings be razed to the ground.
John Kennedy, he of the handsomest looks,
Was shot from a building for storage of books.
No books means no building; no building, no shot:
Prohibiting books is a logical thought.
The Sandy Hook killings took place in a school,
And therefore I plan to declare as a rule
That schools be banned as a gathering spot
For teachers to teach and the children be taught.
These actions are certain to have the effect,
On those in the public, who pause to reflect,
Of showing that leadership can be attained
By those who are willing to act, unconstrained.
- The Bard of Murdock
- My goal is to produce poetical cartoons. I try to use metaphors and caricatures (or a politician’s own words) to address complex political and social situations. In this way, I sum up current events in humorous verse.